#Notoallhashtags

Apparently #YesAllWomen is a response to #NotAllMen which was a response to some crazy dude who had issues with women and killed people.  The short version is that #NotAllMen are crazy homicidal lunatics who hate women and want to do horrible things to them, or even really engage in lewd or unbecoming behavior in regards to women, whereas #YesAllWomen  at some point in their lives have been or will be a victim of sexual harassment if not out-right rape or murder at the hands of a man.  In addition, there is also the accompanying assertion that by “Men” they only mean “those Men” and men as a class who represent a threat to women as a class.

I was messing around with a little experiment. When writing a post about “#YesAllWomen” and/or “#NotAllMen”, if replacing all of your instances “Women” with “Whites” and “Men” with “Latinos/Blacks/Arabs” creates the most disgusting and offensive thing you’ve ever seen, maybe you should consider tweaking your posts (or your activism) a bit.

You get some real gems, like:

“So why am I writing about all of this again? It’s because I’m increasingly seeing the phrase “Not all blacks!” cropping up in discussions about black violence against whites. It seems that many are insulted by the perceived implication that all blacks are violent, evil, rapists and murderers. It’s those people that I really want to read this post. Because you see, when we’re talking about issues like black violence and I refer to “blacks” (and obviously I can only speak for myself) I’m not saying that all blacks are the same. That would be ridiculous. What I’m doing is referring to blacks as a sociological group, in the same way that I might refer to the middle-class or the Latino population. And blacks, as a class, are a threat to whites, as a class. What I’m not saying is that any individual black is a threat. With me so far? Good.”

Pretty fucking disgusting, huh?  You can swap the races around however you want.  Blacks killing whites, Latinos killing Blacks, Arabs killing Asians.  Whatever, and you still get a god-awful mess that could come out of the mouth of a Kleagle, a Black Panther, whatever. The worst thing is, because of the ubiquitous whiteness of the internet, it behooves me to mention that I am a person of color, otherwise someone might accuse me of white privilege or something D:

Hashtag activism has to be the one of the worst things to happen to us culturally in the new millennium.

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11 responses to “#Notoallhashtags

  1. I’m late to the party, per usual.

    I listened to an impassioned video this morning which I think was part of the “yesallwomen” thing, and have had a couple hours to think on it.

    I remember having thoughts like some of what that dumb kid shared in his video before he went and killed a bunch of people. I’m not sure if I’m even talking about the right dumb kid, but I mean the one who posted videos about his intentions.

    I’m not afraid to say that I used to have thoughts like that — I might go so far as to compare them to thoughts of suicide I’ve had before — without being able to peer into other peoples’ heads, I don’t know how I’d differentiate between /homicidal /suicidal /violent “thoughts” versus “urges” and so forth.

    But I remember having thoughts like the ones that kid expressed.

    And I don’t remember how or when they stopped, or what I did to calm myself down or stop caring or what. I remember they passed after a time, but I don’t know what did it.

    I’m not the dumb kid I used to be — really, calling him a “dumb kid” is a mechanism for distancing myself from his actions — but I know the frustration being described, I know the anger and disbelief, and I know I don’t have it anymore and I don’t know why it’s gone.

    Which is disturbing in its own way.

    If the thoughts or urges or tendencies existed, what put them there? Did they arise naturally? Is it something that’s inborn or indoctrinated? I’d love to jump on the “culture” bandwagon and blame indoctrination, but I’m a survivor — I never hurt anyone or killed anyone or posted my thoughts on social media for scrutiny.

    Are the thoughts I had really the same as this kid who went out and killed people, or is there more of a gulf between us than I realize?

    It’s frightening to think that I might have anything in common with someone known for horrific acts of violence, but the argument could be made that anyone who eats, drinks, sleeps, or breathes has something in common with them.

    It seems like some kind of conversation has to be had.

    But about what?

    –Dither

    • I think that a big part of the problem we face today is that when we have an entitlement society that has mixed with the ‘sexual revolution’, a very dangerous cultural maelstrom forms. There were a large number of sexual assaults that occurred during the various Occupy protests around the country; those reported on in detail tended to involve women who had sex with one or more tent mates but not all of them; in the mind of the crazy equality-in-all-things trust-fund anarchist, this woman had created an injustice of inequality by having sex with other men but not him just as the capitalist pig-dogs had created by paying some people more than other. In his mind, he is entitled to her sex in the name of equality.

      One of the failings of mid 20th century feminism was that it fought for women to be equally as bad as men in regards to ideas about sex, pornography, marriage, etc, instead of on reining men in on sex and sexism. A lot of the worst male offenders were able to put this new free-spirited sexually liberated woman in a position where she thought she was being empowered while she was actually being exploited for her body. The male gaze and objectification still existed, only women were being taught that they needed to “embrace their sexuality”, meaning taking off their clothes.

      Fast forward to today, we’re living in a society that is so inundated with sex and sexuality, that something like “Giselle poses totally nude!” is a headline in a normal news outlet, and only one of many in which women are trotted out to be oggled, something which would be beyond imagining a generation ago.

      Anyone who suggests that maybe we shouldn’t be peddled these images and ideas is shouted down as a prude. Anyone who suggests that women should not play into the pornified culture for the fame, fortune or even just attention it gets them is shouted down as wanting to disempower women (incidentally, a girl recently killed herself after hoping to get famous like that girl from Duke by doing “Casting Couch”; she found out that the attention being a pornstar got her was not what she was really looking for…) Rather than get a society where men and women are equal, we’ve ended up with a society where women are taught by media that allowing themselves to be objectified will make them wealthy and famous while men are taught by media that all women’s primary identity is that of a vacant sex goddess who will strip down to nothing to please and don’t you want a piece of that?

      We’re living in a really fucked up world. I mean, the best thing would be to push the idea that rather than all women are victims that women are not objects. Of course there you get into some dangerous territory of suggesting that a woman is not ‘down for the struggle’ because she enjoys the attention of being a headline with a captioned half-naked picture on fox, cnn, nbc, abc, whatever places pretend that they’re news, because it’s also her right to allow herself to be objectified.

    • It is, however, ultimately a self-control issue. One example I came across once, someone pointed out that if revealing clothing actually made men uncontrollable, there would be no strip clubs, because it would always turn into that one scene from Perfect Blue…

      • I was trying to formulate a reply to the above comment when you saved me by posting this second one. Yes, I totally agree about the self-control thing.


        As for your first reply, I have a hard time disagreeing with anything specifically but I’m admittedly not very well informed in general. Sure, I have my thoughts and opinions but the first thing that comes to mind…

        …Is this one image macro I saw floating around facebook.

        To paraphrase a dubious meme — we have a society where we have so much abundance that we could have pretty much anything we want, yet we force our citizens to work for everything.

        It seems like entitlement, yes — but is it wrong? We tell ourselves and our children that we can be anything we want, do anything we want, and then hide everything just out of view and say, “…But not yet.”

        It’s like at some point, someone privatized “the American dream” and has been selling tickets to it ever since.

        I can hear the prevailing argument AGAINST giving people what they want, when we can easily afford it, no less — in my own voice even — rising up to say, “But they haven’t earned it!”

        And I cannot for the life of me, think of a reason WHY “they haven’t earned it,” is reason enough to deprive someone of something that they want which is not only so easily attainable — it’s so easily PROVIDED.

        It’s something I’ve been struggling with for 10+ years as a GM and game designer. “Why not give the players what they want?” Part of the struggle to be a good GM is figuring out not when to say “no,” but to SAY “yes.”

        Maybe the US can’t help the whole world, I don’t know…

        …But I’m pretty sure as a country we could subsidize the food, housing, and education of all 300 million-plus American citizens without breaking a sweat or even decreasing our military spending.

        Eliminate hunger, homelessness, and illiteracy in and around our home? Why on earth would we want to do that?

        –Dither

      • The problem is that money has to come from somewhere, and when it is not freely given, it is taken by force. Somewhere along the lines, at some point in the process, it actually has to be earned by someone. And it has to be worth the effort. We have things in abundance because people did work for things rather than take their share of the existing prosperity of others.

        No one privatized the American Dream, it’s always been the private sector. The American Dream is the pursuit of self-sufficiency without the interference of lords and kings. Interestingly, Kickstarter is probably one of the most awesome microcosms of the American Dream: “I have an idea!”, “We’ll invest, because we desire your product!”, “I have successfully created a profitable product!” or “I did not succeed this time, but I can try again and, with what I’ve learned, achieve better results!”

        It’s not, in my mind, so much a matter of “they didn’t earn it!” as it is “Well, while we’re fishing and giving people fish, maybe we could teach them to fish, giving them a few of our own until they get the hang of it.”

        Education has always been subsidized by the state, though the product of the American Education system in the 20th century under federalization seems to be producing less and less well rounded individuals, if those “asking college students about history/current events/whatever” videos are any indication.

        As for the gaming aspect of giving players what they want, scarcity creates a perceived value; they will appreciate a +1 sword more if +1 swords don’t rain from the sky.

      • I don’t think there’s a big conspiracy or anything — I don’t think “the Man” is trying to keep us down. I think you’re probably right about the culture thing. Maybe the culture thing is that we keep reinforcing entitlement by denying ourselves the things that we have actually earned.

        We are the richest and most wasteful nation on earth.

        Sure, we CAN take care of ourselves but we DON’T.

        It almost seems like entitlement culture might be a reaction to the gross mismanagement of our own resources. “Yes, we HAVE earned it.” I don’t mean that we’re entitled to hate or sexism or whatever. It’s just that we’re focused on those material things we don’t have that we think we want.

        My ignorance might be showing here, but it seems to me like if we gave ourselves what we need — necessities plus education — without putting a price tag on it, our entitlement “problems” might sort themselves out.

        –Dither

      • No, definitely not a conspiracy in the traditional sense, but there are certainly a number of forces and individuals who do ‘conspire’ to either change or perpetuate certain aspects of culture to their own advantage.

        As for entitlement, I think it comes from a group vs. individual mentality. “Yes, we have earned it” vs. “Yes, I have earned it”. A lot of people are willing to claim the struggles of others as their own, partaking in their triumphs and victories without necessarily having put in their own leg-work. Material envy becomes class envy, which is really convenient when you want people to get behind you.

        Ironically, waste is harmful to wealth; one does not get rich wasting, however many low to middle class individuals have just enough that the can feel comfortable wasting enough that it won’t be detrimental to them, but could easily prevent them from improving their personal economy.

      • Scarcity does create a perception of value. Interestingly one of the problems of 4e math is that magic swords are figured into level advancement, being less of a “want” and more of a “need.” Since attack and defense bonuses scale with level, at a certain point you can’t hit the monsters anymore unless you have magical enhancement bonuses.

        You can’t “deny” the players their magical gear because without it, they literally can no longer advance in the game. That’s where I’m drawing the parallel — food and shelter and education are all necessary to advance.

        I do hear what you’re saying about “stuff having to come from somewhere.” But I don’t believe the majority of people are naturally “lazy.” I think that if their necessities are provided for, people will find uses for themselves, and that’s where the “stuff” will come from.

        For example, if I didn’t have to keep my shitty job, I’d be making games — likely to be played by people who want to do something *other* than design games. Some people genuinely enjoy farming and cleaning and stuff, and I think if given the option to choose — there are people who would choose it.

        –Dither

      • Well, as it stands, all people have some degree of access to food, shelter and education. The willingness to help is there, too.

        And no, people are not naturally lazy, but their drive can be sapped, and perpetual benefits for nothing leads to a comfortable ennui of despair, especially when there are programs to provide benefits without programs that can lead to employment.

        If it weren’t for my shitty job, I wouldn’t have had the resources and tools at my disposal I needed to put out 13 albums over my brief career in the music industry. If it weren’t for your shitty job, you wouldn’t have the resources to eventually put towards making your games. I really hope that your games fare better than my music, so that someday games can be your job. Because THAT is the American Dream.

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