J’Rhazha is a Useless Coward (and Incredibly Fun to Play)

So, once I finally got my Rakasta rolled up, my previous speculations about his cowardice found their justification.

Str 7 (-1 damage and +1 to Thac0; this is important)
Dex 17
Int 16
Wis 15
Con 11
Cha 7 (He is not the most likable fellow)

Though he lucked out maxing his HP, he’s beyond useless in combat, but he’s okay with that! Fighting means he might die, and that’s no good for him!

Sometimes, when it’s clear the day is won, he might charge in with his gladius (which he can’t actually attack with) waving about wildly. He managed to do 2 points of damage the whole session; one was knicking an elf a thrown dagger (thank goodness for minimum 1 damage rule!) and one was punching a skeleton who was on its last HP (“J’Rhazha has defeated the bone man!).

The coolest thing he managed was to use a Phantasmal Force to create a likeness of the statue of an elf queen we’d seen earlier; we played the whole ‘we’re with her’ card while exploring an illusory* elven village, but it ended up all being for nothing since we had to fight our way back out once we got the key from the skeletons*.

He cowered and hid, occassionally firing off a nearly useless cantrip or two, during the climactic fight of the session, though, as one of the last men standing, he was able to help patch up the wounded. Victorious, without taking a single hit!

The DM is using a rule that I’ve not seen about 3 dart attacks per round, which makes darts suck a lot less than I imagined, so the gnomish magic user is a lot better in combat than my cat-man. If I wanted to power-game, I guess I could ask if I could switch my weapon proficiency from dagger to dart, but really I’m pretty okay with sucking and being useless in combat and I don’t want to knick the gnome’s dart bit. I’ll only change if it becomes a problem with the other party members.

Meanwhile, I’m coming up with various ways to find my way into the mage’s guild. The first test to join is to find the entrance. I’ve chosen to interpret this as ANY entrance. I think first I’ll try changing my shape to the apprentice who told me about the test and throwing rocks at the windows. If I get caught, I’ve got my answer planned out “J’Rhazha was merely taking a test, involving powerful wizard magic and mystic forces. Perhaps he answered the first question wrong. Perhaps he did not. Now go away, while I work to serve the guild.” ::continues throwing rocks at window::

Also, I know what the elf queen and elf king look like now, so I can work them into illusions in the future. Yay!

*:The megadungeon under the city is, I’ve gathered, the work of a mad mage who modelled portions of it based on set pieces from his memories of the past. The village was, therefore, a rather complex illusion representing the final days before it was destroyed by war. On one side of a tower, we’d see elven generals discussing battle plans during the day; on the other side of the tower, it was night and the place was littered with skeletons and charred grass. As an experiment, J’Rhazha left the tower to see if he could see his companions fighting skeletons; nope, on that side of the tower, the generals were still discussing battle plans.

6 responses to “J’Rhazha is a Useless Coward (and Incredibly Fun to Play)

  1. OMG I’m a terrible person. I saw your stats and thought, “well if he can use a missile weapon the STR isn’t a problem … if it’s AD&D darts have a ROF of 3…”.
    Good on you for a creative use of an illusion spell! One of my favorite PCs was Dagodart Stav, an illusionist who pretty much never did anything effective with his spells. But he threw a mean pot of oil. 🙂

    • Thanks. I’d seriously never heard/seen that rule, and since I’m using OSRIC, which doesn’t include the Unearthed Arcana stuff (some of which we’re using) I hadn’t come across it when I came up with my character concept. I mean, I was familiar with some of the weapon speed rules that gave daggers 2 attacks per round (I think it was in a draft of Holmes), but I’d always assumed that darts were a crappy useless weapon when really, they’re better than most melee.

      I’m hoping to actually be more useful with my illusions, but part of that comes from being familiar with whatever setting you’re in and knowing what’s plausible. For instance, since our party has a pet blink dog, it would be entirely feasible for our party to have two pet blink dogs.

    • Y’know, when I was younger and first had my 2e PHB, I saw the Illusionist and wondered why anyone would ever want to play one when you could be a regular magic user instead. Now I know: hijinx. Like, I could be able to magically set my opponents on fire, but wouldn’t it be more fun to wander around town all blurry like bigfoot? I can’t wait till I get my level 2 spells… Cast hypnotic pattern as a ‘street performance’…

  2. I love playing illusionists, or to be precise, one illusionist, my character Alderon Spendler. He’s been played in 1E, 2E, and BFRPG, and he’s never failed to make me smile. The best illusions are the simplest.

    Once he was fleeing from some robbers in Waterdeep. He fled down an alley, just a round ahead of his opponents, and used Phantasmal Force to straighten a bend in the alley. Naturally the robbers ran face-first into the illusion-hidden wall…

    • Heh… I’ll have to remember that one next time I have any running to do. Unfortunately, if I remember the map of the city the DM has, it’s very romanesque and grid-like.

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