I’m probably in the best D&D campaign ever.

I’m a knife-throwing acrobat who has become the ‘face’ of a gang that is recruiting from street performers. We have established a reputation as violent and dangerous, having massacred one rival gang during an evening private performance and for (personally) having killed two members of another gang for standing in my way and talking trash while I attempted to introduce myself to a visiting noble. We’ll need to repair our rep with the public a bit; I’ve been particularly insistent that we not strong-arm the locals for protection money, and we have some ‘good works’ in the pipeline. Hopefully, things will balance out, and the gangs will fear us while the public loves us.

After killing the two members of a rival gang and chasing drug pushers off our block, a local constable (who was a bit of color we were probably supposed to ignore) seemed to be a bit nonplused by our activities. We were probably supposed to bribe him, but instead, in my magnanimity, I volunteered to spend a night in ‘jail’, which turned out to be the constable’s guest bedroom. One of the other members volunteered to join me.

A botched ‘search for treasure’ roll meant a roll on a random table of ‘bad-things-that-aren’t treasure’. Sure enough, under the bed was a freshly murdered body. Of a noblewoman. Of the house of the noble I’d tried to visit earlier.

Random rolls opened the doors to a cozy murder mystery!

I stayed with the constable to keep him from tossing the body into the canal while the other member went to let the noble know what happened – and he crosses paths with nearly 20 of his guards on their way to investigate the already reported murder. When the guards show up and threaten to haul off everyone, I immediately sold out the constable, telling the truth that the body was there when we arrived. The poor random rolled constable who just wanted a bribe and ended up being implicated in a randomly rolled murder was hauled off in chains while the plot reshaped itself to our new reality.

Another character, who still had ties to the first gang we tried to ally ourselves with which got decimated and disbanded, got narced on at some point; I passed along the info that everyone who’d been implicated in the earlier arms heist needed to get out of town ASAP, perhaps hiding out with the Rat King on the far side of the river, but it was too late. One character led the noble’s pursuers on a merry chase and got half way across the river with only one bolt in the shoulder to show for it when a pack of Deep Ones showed up, tore him apart with rusty meat hooks and ate him alive.

One of the members of our group isn’t keen on the gang stuff, but when you’re faced with the choice of fighting rival gangs and engaging in turf wars or going to the cursed, haunted and abandoned side of the town to scavenge for trinkets (also illegal!) only to be devoured by indescribable horrors (or at least stung by giant wasps), I think the answer is obvious!

My DM’s account of events is here.


One response to “I’m probably in the best D&D campaign ever.

  1. “I’m a knife-throwing acrobat…”
    “I immediately sold out the constable…”
    “a Pack of Deep Ones showed up…”

    That sounds like a fun campaign.

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