Army Men Figures

So, I was kind of hoping that I’d be able to grab a cheap bag of army men or something to use as minis in my Pellucidar game. Except I am kind of weird and autistic and was confronted with a strange problem – I found that all of the army men I looked at were extremely disappointing.

The dollar store bags all have a soft and moldy look to them and look like they’ve been sand-blasted. In addition to having giant seams and injection marks, they did not have any real subtle details to them. Unfortunately, other bags at other places had similar problems. Even the super expensive $10 army men sets were kinda weak on the detail.

I swear that I remember that the army men I had as a kid in the 80s and early 90s were much higher mold and sculpt quality, some of them roughly on par with Reaper Bones. I wish that I still had those old ones because there isn’t exactly a lot of competition on the toy shelves for quality army men.

You can still get them, but you have to order them online, and they aren’t cheap! I can’t tell you which sets I had as a kid; I can only go by which sculpts I recognize, and I had a LOT of army men as a kid. But here’s a comparison of the sort of stuff I had that you can get still get online vs what you can find today in stores.

army men 1

Think I had a decent share of both the Americans and Germans from this; never had the Japanese or Brits; I’d’ve remembered the pipers. Also, wow, that’s a lot of bazookas! I remember having way more grenadiers.

army men 2

Probably comes out to about 1/3 the quality at 1/4 the price. So, a bargain, I guess? What you can’t tell from this pic is that the plastic literally looks like it’s covered in a film of mold.

You can’t really tell from the pictures, so I didn’t include it, but the Toys R Us True Heroes line was still really seamy.

If we end up running my game for more than a session or two, I might actually invest in some figures, but if it’s between shelling out $20 for a bucket of half-way decent soldiers or a buck for really lousy ones, we can just use whatever minis we already have.

Also, I must have looked like some kind of freak standing there with an armful of resin triceratops trying to decide whether I should buy them now or wait.

“If I can buy a herd of triceratops for $4, but then I’ll want to force a scripted triceratops encounter. But I don’t want to buy all of these dinosaurs today. And I don’t want to buy just one of each, because what if they’re fighting more than one of something? Aaah! Someone’s coming!” ::dumps armload of dinosaurs and runs away::

One response to “Army Men Figures

  1. I have a big garbage bag in my basement, filled with army men I collected as a kid. Someday I hope to pass them on. But yeah, even then I remember noticing that some of the earlier ones (probably that I had inherited) were of higher quality and finer detail.

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