So, the New Sabrina Show… [lots of spoilers]

…is really weird.

I ended up watching it out of morbid curious with my girlfriend, who is a big MJH Sabrina fan.

I’m not sure what to make of it.

  • Witchcraft is literally Satanism
  • Virtually all the characters are evil [witches, natch]
  • The Devout strong-and-independent-womyn Satanist aunt is extra evil
  • “being a sodomite” makes you more susceptible to demonic possession
  • Catholic Baptism protects against Satan
  • CW/ABC Family edgy

If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say it was a deconstruction of edgy-hip Hollywood-progressive teen drama genre.

Whole first season was a shoot the shaggy-dog story to get Sabrina to sell her soul to the devil.

Being a witch is sold as being a free, free-thinking, strong and independent woman… With the catch that you have to submit yourself body and soul to Satan [a dude]. So, there is running theme of conflict of “muh feminism” with “actually, Satanism is inherently patriarchal”.

Sabrina doesn’t want to give up her life and soul to Satan cuz it sounds like a bad deal [cuz, uh…], but ends up through legal chicanery allowed [actually, forced, rather] to lead a split life where she MUST attend Black Masses and the Satanic school of magic even though she does not have to sign away her soul [which Satan has no claim over due to her baptism].

Sabrina gets the brilliant [dumb] idea that she can use the Satanic arts she learns to bind and defeat Satan. Which plays out about as well as you’d expect; like, the show knows it’s a dumb and stupid idea and Sabrina goes with because she’s a dumb teenager who doesn’t have the theological background that would give her an inkling of how bad an idea her plan is.

It finally ends with Sabrina stuck in a situation so bad where she thinks that the only way to save her friends is by finally selling her soul Satan. The whole scheme that brings her to that point? Cooked up by none other than the Ur demoness saint of feminism herself, Lilith. ::eyeroll::

But all of the characters who talk about the “false Christian god”, promote Satan worship as a good idea, and spout Crowley at each other? They’re the show’s villains. The one sympathetic supporting witch character? The one who helped get Sabrina baptized as an infant…

I won’t say that it’s great; it was a trainwreck bizarre enough that I watched it unfold, and at least it only had one ep that really felt like filler.  It mostly coasts on the shock value of mild gore and ongoing depiction of Satan worship in an old Archie Comic property. It was better than the ep I saw of Riverdale, and at least the whole “well, all of these characters are horrible people” is somewhat justified in that they’re all literal Satan worshipers.

The series ends with the setup of the Faustian dilemma [despite everything, Satan has no legitimate claim on Sabrina’s life or soul–he has only convinced her he has] with Sabrina’s now-ex-boyfriend, the last in a line of witch-hunters, left as the only decent person who can possibly take a stand against an army of Satan-worshipers who pose an existential threat to their town.

And no, Salem doesn’t talk. Sorry.


Dominika Lein pointed this out to me, so I’m gonna go with the woke horseshoe theory here–it’s so woke that it looks like anti-woke propaganda.