Let’s face it–it gets boring seeing “said” and “asked” all the time for every line of dialogue.
There are some great writers who, while solid on most fronts, kind of trip with this one.
So, here’s a cool page of all the different ways you can say “said” without saying “said”.
http://www.spwickstrom.com/said/
Tangent Online has released its big list o’ recommended SFF reading for 2018, and the following Cirsova stories made it to the list!
Please keep these and our other stories in mind this awards seasons when filling out those nominating ballots!
The full list of our stories and eligibility by category can be found here.
We’re accepting Submissions now for Cirsova volume 2.
Details are here.
We’re looking to acquire ~100K words in text in total. That’s enough to fill two issues of Cirsova.
Payment is .0125 per word. That’s less on the short end than we used to pay, but more on the long-end. [mostly it keeps our expenses flat, which we need on such a tight budget, as opposed to when we paid a .01 cent bonus on the first 2500 words and costs fluctuated based on the number of stories rather than actual wordcounts.]
There are a lot of important things I probably should’ve been doing today, but in a fit of mania I wrote a 22 page script for a Batman Wedding. I hope you all enjoy this more than you did Batman #50.
Page 1:
Church sanctuary, wedding day. Members of the Bat Family and Justice League are seated in the pews in costume; Batman and Catwoman stand at the altar.
Narration: At long last, the day is finally here! The Wedding of Batman and Catwoman!
Page 2:
Panel One: Bat & Cat looking at each other in front of priest. Green discordant notes from the side
Priest: Do you promise to—what’s the organist doing?
Panel two: The organist is Joker.
Joker: I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to the wedding!
Panel three: Batman holds up Joker by the collar.
Batman: How DARE you!
Joker: Easy, Bats, you don’t want this wedding to blow up in everyone’s face.
Page 3
Panel 1: An explosion
Panel 2: Everyone in the sanctuary is coughing; there is mist everywhere.
Panel 3: Joker’s head is on the ground, looking up; it’s animatronic, because it had been a Joker doll.
Joker’s head: It would be a shame to spoil such a happy day.
Panel 4: Batman holding what’s left of the Joker automaton in one hand, covering his face with the other.
Batman: Joker gas! Quick, get everyone out of the church! Cat?
Panel 5: Batman looks back to the altar. Catwoman has passed out.
Batman: Cat!
Panel 6: Batman falls down.
Page 4
Panel 1: Batman, Catwoman, Robin (doesn’t matter which one), and Batgirl are pinned to a large block of ice.
Batman: Where… Where are we? Cobblepot!
Panel 2: Penguin, Joker and some Joker thugs look on at the captive Bat Family. It is clear that they’re in Iceberg Lounge. One of the Joker thugs has a freeze cannon.
Joker: I rented the place out for a reception! What do you think?
Penguin: If anyone asks, I’ll just say Joker forced me to do it. No one would believe otherwise!
Joker: It’s true!
Page 5:
Panel 1: Joker menaces the Bat Family
Joker: Don’t you think I wanted to be a part of this? I could’ve killed you, but I got you a gift!
Robin: You’re sick, Joker.
Panel 2: Joker turns, hand to his mouth, calling.
Joker: Ladies, bring in the wedding cake!
Panel 3: Penguin’s henchgirls, Jay, Raven, and Lark wheel out a large cake with a riddler “?” on top.
Joker: Doesn’t that look good enough to eat?
Panel 4: Mad Hatter pops out of the wedding cake holding a bridal veil.
Joker: I’ll bet you were expecting Harley Quinn! Jervis, come on out, and show ‘em what they’ve won!
Page 6:
Panel 1: Joker gestures to Catwoman, Mad Hatter approaches holding the veil out towards her.
Joker: We’ll have Catwoman back to a life of crime in no time! Get that on her and set her loose!
Panel 2: With the veil placed over Catwoman’s head, she looks on with a vacant stare
Joker (off panel): Now go and rob the nearest bank. Get yourself something nice for the honeymoon.
Catwoman: ~meow…
Panel 3: Joker thug shooting Catwoman with the freeze cannon.
Joker: Hit the reverse on that thing Freeze loaned us… and don’t hit Batman, we don’t want him getting out!
Page 7:
Panel 1: Catwoman scrambles away.
Joker: And off she goes!
Panel 2:
Batgirl: What are we going to do, Batman?
Batman: Don’t worry, I was expecting something like this. Hold your breath…
Panel 3: Everyone in the iceberg lounge looking around as gas seeps in.
Joker: Hey, what is this? Gas is MY shtick! No, don’t… pass… out… zzzzz….
Page 8:
Panel 1: Batman smiling
Batman: It pays to have someone working from the OUTSIDE.
Panel 2: The gas solidifies into Metamorpho
Metamorpho: Heya, Bats! Looks like these guys are down for the count with my sleeping gas!
Panel 3: Metamorpho is melting the ice with his powers
Robin: Thanks, Rex!
Batman: We’ve got to catch up with Catwoman. She’s headed to the 1st Bank of Gotham.
Panel 4: Freed, Batman is rubbing his wrists.
Batman: Can you and the rest of the Outsiders handle these clowns yourselves?
Metamorpho: For four volumes!
Panel 5: Batman has slung Joker over his shoulder.
Batman: I’ve had enough jokes for one day!
Page 9:
First Bank of Gotham, a towering edifice. Catwoman is climbing up the side in broad daylight!
Onlookers: Hey, is that the Catwoman?
Onlookers: What’s she doing?!
Onlookers: In her wedding dress, too!
Page 10:
Panel 1: The Riddler stands in front of TV camera crews in front of the bank.
Riddler: What’s black and white and robbing 1st Bank of Gotham on her wedding day? The Catwoman of course!
Panel 2: Batman grabs the Riddler; the cameras are still on them.
Batman: What’s your part in this Riddler?!
Riddler: The part I play is the part you say! Isn’t this your wedding day?
Panel 3: Batman has let Riddler go and walks past him.
Batman: I don’t have time for your nonsense. Batgirl, Robin, watch him!
Riddler aside to Batgirl: Even if it’s just an act, can’t you leave my face intact?
Page 11:
Panel 1: Catwoman breaks into the bank window.
Panel 2: Catwoman sneaks down halls of the bank.
Panel 3: Catwoman trying to open the Bank vault.
Panel 4: Catwoman still trying to open the Bank Vault, but looking surprised
Batman(from behind her): Stop! It’s over.
Panel 5: Batman lifting the veil off Catwoman; her eyes are clear again.
Page 12:
Panel 1: Batman and Catwoman standing in front of the vault.
Catwoman: What happened?
Batman: Mad Hatter put a mind control device in this wedding veil and told you to rob a bank.
Panel 2:
Batman: Joker must have hoped that if everyone thought you returned to a life of crime, it would be impossible for the Batman and the Catwoman to be married.
Panel 3: Catwoman looking downcast, turned away from Batman.
Catwoman: Maybe he’d be right…
Batman: Exactly…
Page 13:
Panel 1: An interrogation cell at GCP, Gordon stands next to Bullock and looks on at Joker, who’s in a straight jacket.
Gordon: There’s always more than meets-the-eye with Joker’s plans.
Panel 2: Joker grinning in the room.
Joker: It was all King Tut’s idea, I swear! He’s so funky!
Panel 3: Gordon looks frustrated.
Gordon: Do you think it’s even worth questioning him, or should we just toss him back into Arkham?
Page 14:
Panel 1: Gordon still standing there, but instead of Bullock, Clayface is standing next to him.
Gordon: You’re awfully quiet, Bullock…
Panel 2: Gordon looks in horror at Clayface.
Gordon: What are YOU doing here?!
Panel 3: Clayface moves in on Gordon.
Clayface: I got a bit part…
Panel 4: Clayface
Clayface: and I’m ready for my close-up!
Page 15:
Panel 1: A blast of a freeze ray from the freeze gun hits Clayface and knocks him away from Gordon.
Panel 2: Bullock holding the freeze gun.
Bullock: Some Asian lady with a sword said this was at the crime scene… good thing I hadn’t checked it into evidence, yet, huh?
Panel 3: Joker furious in the interrogation room
Joker: What? That’s it?! I was hoping for much more in the third act!
Page 16:
Panel 1: Batman is standing in front of the camera crews outside 1st Gotham Bank; Catwoman is looking down and is wearing cuffs beside him.
Batman: …and that’s why I’ve decided that the Batman and the Catwoman can NEVER get married.
Panel 2: Two-Face’s cell; Two-Face is watching the live broadcast on his TV.
Batman on the TV: Batman is a crime-fighter, and the Catwoman is a criminal.
Panel 3:
Two-Face: Why that no good double crosser…
Page 17:
Batman fires his grapnel with one hand, holding Catwoman in the other, and goes soaring off away from the press conference that’s formed around the outside of the bank.
Batman: It’s time she gets her just deserts.
Page 18:
A Gotham Courthouse.
Caption: Later that week…
Page 19:
Panel 1: Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle stand in front of the desk of a Justice of the peace wearing normal clothes.
Justice: Your paperwork is all in order, you’ve paid your license fee. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Wayne.
Panel 2:
Bruce Wayne: It may be awhile before Batman and the Catwoman can be seen together in public.
Selina: I’m hoping that we’ll be in private for a bit. Meow!
Page 20:
Panel 1: Bruce and Selina leaving the courthouse.
Selina: This was all brilliant, really…
Bruce: With Batman and Catwoman ‘officially broken up’, there’s no suspicion about the wedding of Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle.
Panel 2: Continuing down the steps
Selina: And that’s fine. It’s the man I’m marrying, not the costume.
Bruce: …Of course!
Panel 2 circle inset: Nightwing smiling and waving.
Nightwing: Thank God for that, right?
Panel 3: Selina looks lovingly at Bruce
Selina: You may now kiss the bride!
Page 21:
Panel 1: Bruce and Selina embrace and kiss.
Panel 2: The couple ride off in a car together
Selina (from inside the car): Our friends are all waiting for us at the little chapel we booked just outside of town.
Page 22:
Panel 1: Arkham Asylum
Joker narrating: What? That’s it?
Panel 2: Joker in his cell
Joker: No big twist ending? Batman and Catwoman aren’t getting married!? Everyone saw that coming!
Panel 3: All of the Bat Family + Catwoman waving.
All: Thanks for reading!
Batman: See you after the Honeymoon!
If you want me to have more time to devote to writing weird stuff like this, please don’t pledge to our Kickstarter for Volume 2! ;D
Disclaimer: DC owns Batman, all the characters, trademarks, etc., yadda yadda yadda.
We got mentioned recently in Steve DuBois’ review of one of our contemporaries, Broadswords & Blasters. It’s a good review, B&B is a pub I’ve really been meaning to check out, I just haven’t had the time.
Still, it’s an interesting take-away that we “work primarily with authors who identify as members of the #PulpRev movement” given that maybe half a dozen out of over 50 contributors are actively involved beyond having used the tag a few times.
Rather than just say that Steve’s wrong (I probably turned down as many stories from members of the #PulpRev community for next year as I acquired, more if we count anyone who used either hashtag), I think it would be more useful to look at how this misconception came to be.
Some of this misunderstanding might spring from Cirsova having been a pre-#pulprev publication, so there may have been the misconception that all of our writers were part of the movement when the movement was a fan of our publication.
I spoke about this once here, but I’ll reiterate that being published by us does not draft anyone into any movements nor does being part of any movement guarantee you’ll be published by us.
I’ll also note that there are, at this point, two distinct PulpRevs/PulpRevolutions
The first was the Movement, back when it was #PulpRevolution and eventually #PulpRev. It was small, but there was momentum behind it. This was mid-late 2016 through early 2017. Several authors, including Cirsova contributors, latched on because there was buzz and it was an exciting time. It was a “Beyond Sad Puppies”/”Beyond Rabid Puppies”/”Beyond other stuff” thing that folks were looking to get in on.
The second is the Community, which formed from participants in the movement. This is #PulpRev. It’s not really a club, because its doors are pretty open, but it’s not really a movement anymore, either. It’s more introspective, having become something of a writers’ circle. Involvement in the first =/= involvement in the second.
I was an active proponent of the first and remain an involved, but peripheral, figure in the second, but I do consider them very different things.
However that brings me around to how one could have the misconception of Cirsova being a primarily “#pulprev” magazine. What we were looking for in our stories got taken and held up as exemplary; we kept looking for the same things and buying stories from writers who wrote what we were looking for.
Every once in a while, someone likes to meme the faux rivalry between the Superversive and PulpRev crowd. The latest has been the images of some white knight guy representing the former with a dread knight guy representing the latter, with implications ranging from the nature of each’s approach to storytelling to just that one is more badass than the other.
Brian Niemeier has written a bit of an analysis and response to the rivalry which can be read here in full. But he outlines a few points that his readers have brought up and some “actionable advice” to the Superversives.
- The Superversives have more high profile authors.
- The #PulpRev has a far bigger cultural footprint–due to their greater willingness to interact with the public on social media.
- The Superversives lag behind in terms of marketing their ideas.
- On the whole, the #PulpRev has the upper hand–though the two movements aren’t exactly in direct competition. There’s a high degree of overlap.
- Your membership is too private and insular. Discuss what’s going on in the movement out in the open more often. Conversations about upcoming projects, new members, superversive philosophy, etc. should be had in public to raise awareness and build interest.
- The Superversive Roundtables are too long. Try keeping the ordinary shows to one hour, tops. Your audience will give you a little longer for special events.
- Sci-Phi Journal, Forbidden Thoughts, and Astounding Frontiers are good. But there’s always room for improvement. Superversive magazines and anthologies should have a stronger editorial voice, and the story selections should show greater intentionality.
To me, the biggest difference between the two movements is that the Superversive movement is defined by its pursuit of the ideal of “superversive” while the Pulp Rev movement is (or was) defined by a pursuit of a certain approach to storytelling. The former is ideological while the latter is structuralist (if you don’t believe me, just see how often folks bandy about “Lester Dent’s Master Formula”).
I do see the Pulp Rev slipping towards where the Superversives are now, and I’ll explain why after I touch on Brian’s 3 points.
Now I need to turn things to the Pulp Rev… Some folks worried about the Pulp Rev ossifying because I was gonna maybe go invite only in a year and a half from now. But I see it ossifying now for other reasons, moving towards having the same issues that Superversive has now. Ask yourself this: what growth has there been in the Pulp Rev community in the last three months? It may not have stalled out, but it looks like it’s plateaued.
Okay, now here’s a bit of a disclaimer before I go on; I don’t try to wrangle our authors into being a part of the Pulp Revolution – if they want to join in, they’re welcome to, but being published in Cirsova isn’t being drafted into a movement. Also, being involved in the Pulp Revolution does not improve your chances of being accepted and published by Cirsova.
Honestly, the Pulp Revolution is far too small at this point for anyone to actually make money off trying to exploit the name, but people participate in movements, not brands – and if they think it’s a brand, they’re not going to participate. How does this tie into the issues Brian brings up? Because Superversive is seen as a brand rather than a movement. Fair or not, it’s seen as the Jason Rennie + John C. Wright & Friends’ brand. While Brian is trying to move the Superversives away from that, the Pulp Rev has been moving towards it. You can nip this in the bud, but it may have to be soon.
This is not meant to impugn anyone’s motives. I don’t think anyone who was caught up in the excitement of the Pulp Rev thought about exploiting or seeking to steer the movement or was even aware of the possible repercussions of putting together unofficial official sites or selling unofficial official merchandise. But at best, I think they will only serve to limit the movement’s growth at a point just before it could reach a critical mass.
One of the nicest things about Castalia House’s blog offering a platform for the Pulp Revolution is that while Castalia House is a brand, it has not imposed itself on movement. In fact, the commercial publishing wing of Castalia is almost wholly independent from the Pulp Revolution. Vox Day has never said “You’re on my site, so you’re going to talk about and promote the kind of science fiction I like and publish.” And Jeffro, the blog’s editor, has not put the clamps down or laid down the law or acted like he was the pope of the Pulp Rev despite having a tremendous amount of clout within the movement.
Remember – for a movement to grow and succeed, it can’t just be a vertical. Just as Superversive needs to branch out to thrive, the Pulp Rev needs to remain diffuse if it’s going to survive.
With lots of markets opening up for submissions, not just Cirsova, and lots of new writers trying their hand and getting short fiction published, I think it’s worthwhile to do a short post on how a Manuscript should be formatted.
There are lots of sites out there that give guidelines on how to format your manuscript, but here are a few things that are biggies and why you should do them.
